Clever Stuff Thought Up By A Bored [Certified] Engineer

  1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
  2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
  3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
  4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
  5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
  6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
  7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year
  8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
  9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
  10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
  11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
  12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
  13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
  14. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
  15. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
  16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
  17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
  18. 10 cards = 1 decacard
  19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard
  20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig Newton
  21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
  22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
  23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
  24. 10 rations = 1 decaration
  25. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
  26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
  27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
  28. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

Original received from Bill Stern, 2005-07-27
Augmented from suggestions by Barbara Barr Klein Bored [certified]
and by Russell P. Kraft:
14. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone, not just 1 phone
15. 1 million bicycles = 2 (wheels/bike) 2 megacycles