Newspapers on Running the Country

  1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
  3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
    country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
  4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
    but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however,
    like their statistics shown in pie charts.
  5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
    the country - if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to
    leave Southern California to do it.
  6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run
    the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
  7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure
    who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can
    get a seat on the train.
  8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
    the country as long as they do something really scandalous,
    preferably while intoxicated.
  9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
    but need the baseball scores.
  10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is
    a country ... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that
    they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are
    handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be
    illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course,
    that they are not Republicans.

Received 2005-05-24, original from Jim McLaughlin